Is She Really Flirting with Me?

Is she really flirting with me?  It’s a question that’s stumped more than a few people.  Flirtation is meant to be a subtle combination of words and actions that lets someone know you’re interested in them without saying so or doing anything overtly romantic or sexual.  This is meant to give the other person an opportunity to confirm her interest or reject yours, all without doing so explicitly or exposing either of you to embarrassment.  The problem is that sometimes flirting is either too subtle for you to pick up on it.  Some people are better at learning and enacting the unwritten rules of social interaction than others.  Here are bunch of questions to ask yourself to discover whether or not she’s actually flirting with you.

1.       Does she make a lot of eye contact with you?  Does she look away then look back repeatedly?  If you meet her gaze, does she hold it for longer than is really necessary? 

2.       Does she smile at you?  Smiles tend to put others at ease and can act as a signal that the smiler is open to being approached.  They express happiness and people enjoy being around happy people. 

3.       Does she move away from her friends for a minute or two?  She may have conceived this as away of making it easier for you to approach her. 

4.       Does she come say hello?  This means overcoming a deeply ingrained “rule” that women shouldn’t approach men because men like women who make them feel manly (by allowing them to make the first move) in order to get to know you better.

5.       Does she give you a friendly, thought-out answer if you ask her a question?  If she gives more than “no”, “yes”, or the bare minimum politeness requires, she would probably like to keep talking to you.

6.       Does she ask about your interests?  This can be a sign that she’d like to know if you have much in common and shows an interest in getting to know you on a less superficial level.

7.       When you are in a group, does she face toward you and address herself to you?  This shows a preference for you over other friends.

8.       Does she make jokes?  Everyone wants people to have a good time with them and think that they’re funny.

9.       Does she tell you that she likes your sense of humour or that you’re funny?  This is a major compliment.

10.   Does she tease you?  People in close relationships tease one another.  By teasing you, she may be trying to recreate that sense of comfort and intimacy between the two of you.

11.   Does she compliment you?  Compliments are as close as it gets to being transparent in your interest when it comes to flirting.

12.   Does she mimic your movements?  No, she’s not copying you; it’s a subconscious expression of attraction.

13.   Does she touch herself?  She might not have put much thought into it, but touching a specific part of the body is going to draw your attention to it.

14.   Does she strike a pose where she stands or sits sideways to you and arches her back?  It can be a very sexy pose and she likely knows it.

15.   Does she touch you?  She might just be touchy, but it’s one of the clearest signals she can send that she’s interested.

It can be hard to determine when someone’s flirting with you, since none of the above clues are exclusive to flirtatious behaviour.  Most are things that friends with no interest in each other might do.  Women also tend to flirt less discriminately than men and without a goal in mind (men tend to flirt only with women they’re interested in and in hopes of getting sex, a number, or a date).  In short, many people flirt for fun, often without even realizing they’re doing it.  If you answered “yes” to most of the questions, she’s likely flirting with you.  The importing thing to remember either way is to keep your cool.  Flirting isn’t a big deal and having a good attitude will only help you in your search for romantic and sexual partners.