Flirting with a Man

Flirting with a man can sometimes be nerve-wracking.  Many people still feel that the man should make the first move, so you may worry that you’ll seem too bold if you do it instead. The key is to keep an eye on his body language as well as his words.  If he turns away from you or answers your questions in monosyllables, he’s likely not interested.  If he seems more receptive, try some of the ideas below!

Before you go anywhere, try to look your best.  If the situation calls for it, you can dress casually, but don’t look sloppy.  A bit of mascara and a few dabs of concealer can make a huge difference in your appearance.  You can’t guess when you’ll run into someone you’ll know or would like to know.   

How do you start a conversation with a man?  The first step is to catch his eye.  Make eye contact, smile, and then look away.  After a minute or so, look back and smile again.  If he’s smiling, isolate yourself from your friends (if you’re not alone).  He may feel comfortable approaching you but be intimidated by groups.  If he doesn’t come to say hello, you should go to him.  If he shakes your hand, place your other hand on top of his.  He will notice.  Make an observation about your surroundings (“Great party, isn’t it?” or “Is the bus always this late?”).  This allows you to form a bond based on the shared experience and can make him feel like you’re better acquainted than you actually are.  This also permits him to either give you a one-word answer or talk to you at length.  If he doesn’t want to talk, you can bow out gracefully before you’ve said anything flirtatious at all. 

Once he is talking to you, the real fun can start.  Be attentive to him and show him that you’re interested in what he has to say.  If you are in a group, face him if you can.  Laugh at his jokes and tell him he is funny or that he has a great sense of humour.  Ask him questions about himself.  You’ll get to know him better and most people are flattered if you show an interest in getting to know who they are.  If he seems knowledgeable about a subject, ask him a question or his opinion about it.  It shows that you think he’s smart and he’ll feel valued and useful.  If you like what’s he’s wearing, tell him so or compliment one of his best features.  Remember not to overdo it or it might make him uncomfortable.  Pepper your conversation with some teasing.  Don’t be too harsh, though.  The key is to make it feel like you are already friends, even if you’ve just met.  If you see someone doing something funny, draw his attention to it and laugh about it together. 

Also key to flirting with a man is physical contact and your body movements.  Once your conversation is moving along, lean into him a little.  Gently touch your hair and/or neck occasionally.  Apply some lip gloss, lick, or touch your lips.  Lift your hair off your neck as if it’s hot.  If you are sitting down, cross your legs and slowly twirl your top foot in a circle at the ankle.  All of these things will draw his attention to these parts of your body and maybe make him wish that he could touch them, too.  Show him that you aren’t afraid to touch him.  While you are talking, briefly and gently touch his arm or hand.  “Accidentally” brush his leg with your foot under the table.

If you do all of these things, it will be pretty hard for him to miss the message that you’re interested.  If his words and body language seem positive, he is likely pleased with your interest.  Don’t be surprised if he asks for your number.  Since you are such a confident woman, however, you might just ask for his first.