Most people have been the object of unwanted attention at
one point or another. Since flirting is
often so subtle, it can be difficult to ask someone to stop because they may
not have done anything in particular that could be singled out as
“flirtatious”. What do you say? “Stop smiling at me and telling me you’re
impressed with my work?” “Please don’t
ask about for the time or express interest in my hobbies?” When someone is flirting with you and you’re
not interested, you can try these gentle, equally subtle methods to get them to
stop before you need to be explicit with your concerns.
If you want to be subtle, ignore the flirting and don’t
acknowledge it and usually this will get your point across. Before someone even approaches you, they’ll
often try making eye contact with you.
It may feel rude, but ignore his eye contact. Don’t return it. If he smiles at you, don’t smile back. If he approaches you to talk, answer in as
business-like a manner and with as few words as possible. Fiddle with your phone. He should get the point that you don’t want
to talk with him.
If she doesn’t get it or is someone you’re already
acquainted with, you may not be able to avoid talking to her. In this case, make your interactions as
clinical as possible without being rude.
If she makes a joke, smile weakly if you feel disrespectful not
laughing. Do not compliment her, even if
she’s fishing for a compliment. Don’t
make jokes. Don’t ask any questions that
might further the conversation. If she
buys you anything or offers to buy you something, say “No, thank you.”
Your body language can give him a clue that you aren’t
flattered by his flirtatious behaviour.
Don’t touch yourself (hair, neck, lips, etc.), as it makes you look at
ease and draws attention to the areas you touch. Try pulling a chunk of hair aside and
examining it for split ends. If you’re
less concerned about being thought rude, try cleaning your nails or picking
your teeth. People don’t do that sort of
grooming in front of potential mates.
Cross your arms over your chest and lean away from him. If you can’t hear something he said, ask him
to repeat it without leaning closer to him to listen. Maintain as much space between the two of you
as possible (four feet or more is ideal).
When it comes to physical contact, it’s time to get more
explicit. If she touches you explain
that you’re not a “touchy” person and that you don’t like when people do
it. Make sure that you don’t touch her,
or she may not get your message. If she
doesn’t respect your request, tell her that you don’t appreciate what she’s
doing, that it makes you uncomfortable, even if she means nothing by it. If she doesn’t stop, explain that you’ll be
cutting off all contact (or getting in touch with Human Resources if she’s a
co-worker) and hopefully that will be enough to get your point across. It’s all well and good to be polite, but your
safety and bodily autonomy are more important, so don’t be afraid to tell
someone that what she’s saying or doing isn’t okay. Chances are she didn’t realize what she was
doing as bothering you and will stop.
No comments:
Post a Comment