Flirting with Singles

When you are flirting with singles you are already at an advantage.  You don’t need to be scanning hands for wedding rings or tell-tale tan lines.  You don’t even need to ask if they’re seeing anyone.  You can be a little freer in approaching them because you know they are looking to meet new people as well.

You’ve spotted someone you’d like to talk to, great.  If you aren’t feeling confident enough to just walk up and tap him or her on the shoulder, try catching his or her eye, smiling, and then looking away.  Repeat this once or twice and if they smile back, it’s likely an invitation to start a conversation.  If you are standing or sitting with other people, try moving away from them for a few minutes and throwing a little more eye contact his or her way.  He or she might find approaching a group daunting, but be okay with coming up to you alone.  If he or she doesn’t take the bait, it’s up to you.  Walk over to him or her and ask a quick question relating to where the two of you are and what you’re doing.  This gives him or her an opportunity to either pursue a conversation or decline the “offer” with a monosyllabic answer, perhaps also turning away from you or playing with his or her cell phone.  You’ve found a way to gauge interest without ever saying something flirtatious or investing more than a few smiles. 

If he or she does want to talk to you, excellent!  Ask him or her some questions about him- or herself, his or her hobbies, and his or her interests.  Not only will this set you apart as someone who actually wants to get to know him or her, it will give you a break in the conversation (most people love to talk about themselves) and allow you to decide if you have anything in common.  Ask his or her opinion about something to do with one of his or her interests to show that you are listening and that you think he or she is intelligent.  But don’t keep the whole conversation serious.  Take opportunities to tease him or her.  Did he study biology?  He’s a dork.  Does she cheer for another country’s sports team?  She’s a traitor.  Keep it light-hearted; you don’t want to hurt any feelings.  Make sure that your skin is thick enough to take what you dish out.  If he or she teases you back, that is a good sign.  If he or she says something funny, laugh.  Laugh often and you will come across as a fun person and make him or her feel good about being funny. 

What you do with your body is as important as what you say.  When two people are talking and one is attracted to the other, he or she will often subconsciously mimic the other’s movements.  You can try to replicate this indicator of attraction, but be subtle or else you can come across as awkward or goofy (in a bad way).  Try touching his or her arm quickly and gently while you are talking.  If he or she smiles and touches you back, this is another good sign.

Eventually the conversation will end or one of you will have to leave.  If things went well, ask him or her for their number.  If he or she refuses, at least you had fun talking to an attractive person.  And there’s always tomorrow.