Friday 14 June 2013

Flirting at the Park


The park can be an excellent place to flirt, whether you bring a date or are looking to meet someone.  It provides built-in topics of conversation if you find a lull in yours, and there are many activities you can do to keep busy and get to know someone.

It’s a great place to meet new people.  Just find a seat on a bench and observe your surroundings.  If you bring a book or an mp3 player, don’t let them absorb your attention.  This will make you look like you don’t want to be disturbed and people will be less likely to approach you.  You can do the usual routine, try to catch someone’s eye, smile, then wait to see if they smile back, but there are other ways to break the ice.  If you have a dog (or can borrow one), take it for a walk.  If you spot someone you’d like to talk to, allow your dog to approach her.  If she smiles, pets it, or laughs, you should be able to start a conversation, even if it centres around the dog.  Some people are frightened of strange dogs, however, so watch their body language and be respectful of others’ personal space.  Do not let your dog off its leash unless you’re at a dog park where such behaviour is permitted.  If you have access to a child, bring him to play to see if you can find someone else watching her child and make her acquaintance.  If you are playing some sort of sport, try asking people you’d like to talk to join, or “accidentally” send the ball or Frisbee her way.  Respect her decision, though, and watch for signs she doesn’t want to see you or your ball ever again.

If you’ve brought someone with you, or your conversation with a stranger is going well, trying going for a walk around the park with her, or just sitting on a bench together, chatting and taking it all in.  Talk about how scenic the park is and ask her about her favourite season (this opens the possibility of teasing should you disagree with her opinion).  If she likes animals, toss some peanuts or bread crumbs and laugh at the silly things the birds and squirrels do (unless bylaws or park rules don’t allow the feeding of wildlife).  If you’re watching “your” child and hers, use the children as comedic fodder.  It also creates an opportunity to ask whether they have children, want children, etc. if you are interested in dating her.  This may be a question you want to save until after the first few dates, however, as it may indicate that you are looking to be exclusive or are seeking a long-term relationship. 

When it comes to physical contact, park benches are helpful tools.  It may feel more natural to briefly touch her arm when you are sitting with your torsos angled toward each other.  Always be alert to signs of discomfort, especially following any kind of physical contact.  Playing sports can provide ample opportunity to bump into each other, even if they aren’t tackle sports.  In the winter, skating and hockey are great choices.  The stronger skater can help coach the weaker and there will be opportunity to fall together and help each other up.  Most people like swings.  Chat about whatever you like while swinging, but after awhile, hop off and offer to push her.  You’ll be touching his or her back as well as goofing off in public, which, if it doesn’t embarrass her too much, can serve to create a feeling that you two are “partners in crime” or that you’ve known each other for longer than you have. 

No matter what your interests, there’s something for you to do at the park.  If things went well, ask for her number or see if she would like to go out with you again.  Let her pick the location this time.  If all else fails, you spent some time outdoors, which will sound infinitely better than “I stayed in and played video games” when an attractive person asks what you did last weekend.

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